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When you think of Christmas, what do you imagine? Often there are expectations that Christmas will be a happy time of year. People might picture a big warm family, people laughing, smiling and opening presents, and everyone feeling festive and joyful. But for a lot of people, this ideal of a perfect Christmas is far from reality, and this time of year can be really challenging.  

 

For some people, Christmas can be associated with reduced wellbeing, lower mood and higher levels of loneliness. It's important that we talk about these experiences so that people know that they're not alone and that, for some, Christmas time is not always easy or as perfect as it’s sometimes portrayed. In this blog we will talk about why Christmas can be challenging and how to take good care of yourself during the holiday season.  

 

 

Why Christmas can be a challenging time

 

Financial difficulties. The cost of Christmas, be it present buying, travel, or hosting events, can put a strain on families, particularly with the cost-of-living crisis that we're currently facing. This can lead to feelings of stress and inadequacy. 

 

Changes in routine. Changes in routine as well as expectations to participate in many social events may contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety. 

 

Social isolation and loneliness. Christmas time often emphasises time with families and friends and for those who may lack social connections, this can highlight painful feelings of isolation or loneliness. 

 

Suffering from mental health difficulties. In a time where people expect you to be happy, it can be really challenging for those who are experiencing a mental illness or a difficult period of their life. They may feel isolated or alone during the festive season and feel different from those around them.  

 

Grief and loss. For those who may have lost someone, this can be a painful time of year with reminders of their loved one’s absence.  

 

Family dynamics and conflicts. At Christmas there may be expectations to be around family members who you don't get along with so well or who you typically don’t spend much time with This may lead to tension, and feelings of being judged or misunderstood.  

 

Expectations and pressure. Christmas comes with a lot of expectations. From buying presents, to attending Christmas activities, to cooking food or hosting parties. The busy period can make it difficult to catch some time for yourself and can lead to feelings of overwhelm, stress, disappointment or frustration.  

 

At this time of year especially it's so important that we make time to decompress and take care of ourselves. Here are a couple of practical ways you can do this: 

 

Mindfulness 

Mindfulness and grounding can be a great way to handle additional stress during a difficult time. When we are mindful, we pay attention, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally. We are aware of our thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations and environment and we're able to notice different sensations without becoming absorbed in them or hooked onto them. This may be simply acknowledging if any of the factors discussed above feel relevant to you and allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions come up, without judging them.  

Another lovely way to practise mindfulness is through the use of our breath, which is always with us.  

Below is a quick mindfulness technique you can use to help ground and calm yourself throughout the holiday. If you prefer audio or visual, see our resources below or google ‘mindful breathing’ and you’ll find plenty of helpful resources!  

 

Take some time to get into a comfortable position with your feet firmly on the floor.  

Take a breath in and notice the sensations of the air moving through your nostrils. Perhaps you notice the air is cooler on the way in and warmer on the way out.  

Notice the gentle rise and fall of your belly as your breath moves in and out.  

If you get distracted with thoughts, just notice what took your attention and bring your awareness back to your breath.  

Spend a few minutes noticing the sensations of your breath moving in and out and then when you're ready gently come back to the room.  

 

Talking to someone  

It's so important during this time that we are able to express how we're feeling. Often around Christmas our needs and any difficult emotions we may be experiencing can be pushed aside or dismissed. If we can’t express how we're feeling and what we're going through, things can feel worse and we might end up suffering alone and feeling different from others. 

 If you don't have someone you can talk to, please use the crisis support lines such as Lifeline: 13 11 14, or get in touch with another professional service who will listen and support you. You don't have to suffer alone.  

 

We hope you are gentle on yourself throughout the holidays, and we wish you all the best during this time of year.  

 

 

References 

Kabat-Zinn, J. The Invitation within the Cultivation of Mindfulness. Mindfulness 12, 1034–1037 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-021-01592-x 

Mutz, M. Christmas and Subjective Well-Being: A Research Note. Appl. Res. Qual. Life 2016, 11, 1341–1356. 

Paez, D.; Bilbao, M.Á.; Bobowik, M.; Campos, M.; Basabe, N. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! The impact of Christmas rituals on subjective well-being and family’s emotional climate. Int. J. Soc. Psychol. 2011, 26, 373–386. [CrossRef] 25. Beauchamp, G.A.; Ho, M.L.; Yin, S. Variation in Suicide Occurrence by Day and during Major American Holidays. J. Emerg. Med. 2014, 46, 776–781.  

Sansone, R.A.; Sansone, L.A. The Christmas Effect on Psychopathology. Innov. Clin. Neurosci. 2011, 8, 10–13. 

Velamoor, V.R.; Voruganti, L.P.; Nadkarni, N.K. Feelings about Christmas, as Reported by Psychiatric Emergency Patients. Soc. Behav. Pers. Int. J. 1999, 27, 303–308.