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The Psychology of Presence

 

Life is busy. 

Both in our outer worlds, and inside our minds. 

Externally, we have work, families, friendships, to-do lists, projects, hobbies, housework, social media all competing for our attention.

Internally, we have our constant stream of thoughts to contend with, some pleasant and helpful, some not much. We spend a lot of time thinking about what is not happening right now. We can spend too much time focusing on the past, dwelling on mistakes, failures, regrets, or focusing on the future, worrying about what might happen or what could go wrong. We spend a lot of time on autopilot, pulled by habits and routines, and distracted with a stream of thoughts from “What’s for lunch?” to “Does this person like me?” to “I should clean my inbox.”

While our ability to think beyond the present moment is remarkable evolutionary achievement that allows us to learn, reason, and plan, it can come with a cost. 

Research shows that we spend almost half of our waking hours with our minds wandering (thinking of something other than what we’re doing), and that this is associated with greater unhappiness. Killingsworth and Gilbert explored the relationship between mind wandering and happiness by collecting real-time data on what people were thinking, feeling and doing during the course of their day-to-day lives.  The study showed that people have lower levels of happiness when their minds wander, compared to when they’re focused on the current activity they are engaged in. These findings remind us of the importance of presence. 

The process of actively paying attention to the present moment often contrasts with much of our daily life experiences. But being in the moment, being able to focus on what you’re doing in the here and now is good for us. 

This is known as mindfulness. 

What is Mindfulness?

When you think of mindfulness – what springs to mind? Often people associate mindfulness with someone meditating on top of a mountain or sitting cross-legged in silence, or that mindfulness means we have to clear and empty our minds of thoughts (a difficult feat!). While these are ways we could access mindfulness, they’re not our only option.  Mindfulness is far broader.

In essence, mindfulness is simply the practice of paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment, without judgement. 

While mind wandering can predict unhappiness, mindfulness is a powerful way to support mental health and wellbeing. Research shows that mindfulness is associated with decreased symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress, and greater emotional resilience, focus, and wellbeing. People who practice mindfulness regularly report higher life satisfaction and a greater ability to manage difficult emotions.Studies using brain imaging show that mindfulness practice can actually change the structure and function of brain areas linked with attention, emotion regulation, and self-awareness.

Just like learning to ride a bike or drive a car, mindfulness is a skill that can be built and practiced. Making mindfulness a practice and a habit can help us to feel calmer, more present, and more connected to what matters. 

To know what mindfulness is, it’s helpful to experience it.

1-Minute Mindfulness Practice 

Read through these instructions first and then put a timer on your phone for 1 minute.

• Close your eyes. 
• Let your mind and body settle into the moment. 
• Let yourself have an open-minded awareness of the sensations you are experiencing in your body. 
• The breath coming in and out of your nostrils. 
• The gentle rise and fall of your belly. 
• There’s no need to do anything special. 
• Just noticing with curiosity and interest. 
• Continuously observing the sensations of breathing in and breathing out. 

After you’ve tried this 1-minute exercise, note what that experience was like for you, and if you experienced any challenges. Did your mind wander? Were you easily distracted? Did you start thinking about what you’re doing later, or notice that you had a strong desire to control your breathing?

After you tried it, were there any differences in your body? Do you feel more/less aware? More present to this place, at this moment? Are you a bit sleepy? Just noticing, without judgement. 

It’s Not Always Comfortable 

If that mindfulness exercise felt a bit strange or even uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Mindfulness can feel a bit strange and sometimes uncomfortable at first. Actively going against the tendency our brain has to mind wander takes sustained effort and attention and it can be difficult to sit through sticky thoughts and emotions. One study even found that people preferred mild electric shocks over sitting alone with their thoughts….yikes. 

Maybe you can relate with this: All normal, all ok. It’s the practice of turning towards, without judgement, it’s not about doing it “right”. 

 

Illustration by @gemmacorrell

 

It’s not easy to turn towards and attend nonjudgmentally to our thoughts.  

But it’s important to. 

It is this cognitive effort that can help us create insight, learning, and discover that we can regulate and accept our thoughts and experiences, even when they’re hard. 
Avoiding, suppressing, distracting, and expelling hard thoughts doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it can even make them feel bigger and harder to manage. 

Learning to sit with the hard times emboldens us to cope and helps us learn for ourselves that hard things don’t stick around forever. Like tunnels, we have to walk through tough emotions and thoughts and come to the other side.

 

Mindfulness Practice

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION 

• Sit comfortably and take time to settle 
• Begin paying attention to your breath
• Notice the physical sensation of air filling your lungs, and then slowly emptying.
•  When your mind wanders - which it will - simply notice this. Note what your thoughts are and turn your attention back to breathing.
• Take a deep breath in and out and come back to the room. 

FIVE SENSES

• Come to a comfortable and relaxed position. 
• Take a deep breath to begin and continue to breathe naturally. 
• Look around your environment and identify five things you can see. Notice their colour, texture. Look as though you’ve never seen this before. 
• Take a deep breath in and out. 
• Now close your eyes and notice four things you can feel. This could be your clothing, what you are sitting or lying on, or internal sensations like your breath. 
• Take a deep breath in and out. 
• Now bring your awareness to three things you can hear. 
• Take a deep breath in and out. 
• Notice two different things you can smell. 
• Take a deep breath in and out. 
• Finally, notice one thing you can taste. 
• Take a deep breath in and out and come back to the room. 

 

BODY SCAN 

• Take a deep breath in and out and begin to bring awareness to how you’re feeling in the moment.  
• Pay close attention to the physical sensations throughout your body. 
• Start with your feet, and move up through your legs, groin, abdomen, chest, back, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, and face. 
• Spend 15 seconds to 1 minute on each body part  
• Let your body relax and sink down as you notice each area. 

 

MINDFULNESS WALK 

• Bring your awareness to the moment and practice mindfulness while walking. 
• First, notice how your body moves and feels with each step. 
• Then, expand your awareness to your surroundings. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? 
• You can use this technique with other things that you do day-to-day. 

 

Other mindfulness activities: 

• Mindful eating – pay attention to the sensations of food: smell, how it looks, how it tastes. Notice the feeling of hunger or fullness. 
• Mindful gym session – notice the feeling of exercising, whether it’s cardio or weights. Notice the effort required and how your body feels before, during and after. 
• Mindful listening – give your full attention to listening to another person, or a piece of music. If you get distracted, bring your attention back to the person or song. 

 

Reflection 

 Start small. One minute a day is a great place to begin. Over time, consistency matters more than duration.

What’s something you could do to practice mindfulness this week?

When will you practice? How long for? 

What will you do to celebrate the fact you gave it a go?

Who will you do it with or tell it to?

 

There are tons of resources out there. 

Here’s some suggestions you could try: 

Mindfulness Resources

Apps

• Headspace
• Waking Up
• Happier Meditation
• Smiling Mind
• Calm
• Aura
• Breethe
• Insight Timer
• Healthy Minds Program

YouTube Channels & Guided Practices

 For Adults

• Smiling Mind – Official Channel
• Headspace – Official Channel
• Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Mindfulness for Beginners”
• Greater Good Science Center: “How Mindfulness Changes the Brain”
• Tara Brach: “Guided Meditation on Presence”
• The Mindful Movement: “10-Minute Guided Mindfulness Meditation”

For Kids

• Smiling Mind Kids: “Mindful Breathing”
• GoNoodle: “Melting” – Mindfulness for Children
• New Horizon: “Peaceful Butterfly Meditation for Kids”

 

 

References

Creswell, J. D. (2017). Mindfulness interventions. Annual Review of Psychology, 68, 491–516.
https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-042716-051139

Davis, D. M., & Hayes, J. A. (2011). What are the benefits of mindfulness? A practice review of psychotherapy-related research. Psychotherapy, 48(2), 198–208.
https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022062

Hougaard, R., Carter, J., & Mohan, M. (2020). Build your resilience in the face of a crisis. Harvard Business Review Digital Articles, 2–5.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2015). Mindfulness. Mindfulness, 6(6), 1481–1483.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-015-0456-x

Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932.
https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1192439

Wilson, T. D., Reinhard, D. A., Westgate, E. C., Gilbert, D. T., Ellerbeck, N., Hahn, C., Brown, C. L., & Shaked, A. (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science, 345(6192), 75–77.
https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1250830