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World Happiness Day: Why Chasing Happiness Doesn’t Work

 

We all want to be happy, right?

 

But when we try too hard to be happy, we often end up feeling the opposite - stuck, avoidant, disappointed, and dissatisfied. It can feel like we’re always chasing something just out of reach. And what even is happiness, anyway?

 

There are countless self-help books and online guides that claim to hold the key to happiness. Think positively! Change your mindset! Try this!

 

This can make people wonder if there’s something wrong with them if they’re not feeling happy.

 

The thing is, trying to be happy all the time is stressful. Many of us feel guilty for not being happy, even with access to things like housing, good food, healthcare, education, and the ability to travel. But despite this, happiness levels are not as high as we might expect. In Australia, one in five people will experience a mental health disorder, and 20% of Australians report low wellbeing. 

 

Why Is It So Difficult to Be Happy all the time?

 

There are several myths about happiness that keep us stuck. For example, that we are meant to be happy all the time. 

 

Happiness Is Our Natural State

 

To understand why this isn’t true, we need to look back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors and how our brains have evolved over time.

 

Our top priority in ancient times wasn’t to be happy, it was to survive. The better we were at anticipating and avoiding danger, the better our chances were of survival. Our ancestors had to worry about:

• Predators
• Lack of food and water
• Illness
• Harsh weather
• Being alone (which meant increased risk and less protection from the tribe)

 

While we no longer face Saber-toothed tigers or the same life-threatening dangers, we have evolved into a modern world where our threats have changed. We now worry about:

• Paying bills
• Relationship conflicts
• Embarrassment
• Climate change
• Job insecurity
• Mortgage stress
• Social comparison

 

Many of us believe happiness is the norm, and when we don’t feel it, we something is wrong with us. But humans aren’t designed to be happy all the time. Life is complex, and alongside diagnosed mental health disorders, there are many problems that we face such as illness, work stressors, loneliness, low self-esteem, and lacking of purpose. Sometimes we just feel off and can’t quite pinpoint why. Viewing happiness as the default state only sets us up for disappointment and self-criticism. 

 

 

The Pathways to Happiness

 

There are two main ways people seek happiness:

 

Chasing Pleasure – Hedonic Happiness 

 

The Ancient Greeks called the pursuit of ‘good feelings’ hedonia, which is where we get the word hedonism - the pursuit of pleasure. 

 

Hedonic happiness is all about seeking pleasurable experiences, whether through food, entertainment, or even substances like alcohol or drugs. 

 

Since happiness feels so good, we want to chase it. But a life spent chasing after happiness is not only unsatisfactory – it backfires. The harder we try to feel good, the more worried or sad we become when we can’t maintain those feelings. 

 

Pain is part of life. Trying to avoid pain entirely dooms us for failure, and this avoidance can actually make us more unhappy in the long run. Research suggests that the relentless pursuit of happiness doesn’t create a satisfying life—instead, it often fuels anxiety and depression.

 

 

Finding Meaning and Purpose - Eudaimonic Happiness 

 

Eudaimonic happiness is about creating meaning and purpose - working toward long-term goals, living in alignment with our values, and making sense of difficult experiences. The Ancient Greeks called this eudaimonia, and modern wellbeing research refers to it as flourishing. This might look like investing in going to the gym to become stronger in future, spending time volunteering, reading, and looking toward your future self rather than just immediate desires.

 

We can build a sustainable path to long-term happiness and satisfaction comes from building a meaningful life by:

 

• Taking action on what truly matters to us
• Engaging fully in activities we value
• Moving in the direction of our core beliefs and purpose

 

Rather than trying to eliminate “negative” emotions, we can learn to manage them, make space for them, process them, and cultivate a fulfilling life despite their presence.

 

Values 

 

One way we can tap into eudaimonic happiness and focus on creating meaning and purpose, is to reflect on what is really important to you, and what you stand for – your values. Values guide us toward what truly matters, giving life meaning and direction – like a compass. By focusing on our values rather than just trying to “feel happy,” we create deeper, lasting fulfilment.

 

We invite you to tap into your values using the values questionnaire, and then make a goal based on your unique values using the goal setting worksheet. Taking time to reflect on your values and actively moving toward them can help to create a more meaningful, fulfilling life aligned with what truly matters.

 

Values Questionnaire – https://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Values_Questionnaire.pdf

 

Goal Setting Worksheet – https://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Goal_Setting_Worksheet.pdf

 

 

Final Thoughts

 

Happiness isn’t about always feeling good. It’s about building a meaningful, engaged, and values-driven life and accepting the bad and the good wholeheartedly. Instead of chasing happiness, we can learn to embrace the full range of human emotions while living with purpose.

 

Further Resources

If you’d like to explore these ideas further, check out these resources:

• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
• Values Questionnaire: https://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Values_Questionnaire.pdf
• Goal Setting Worksheet: https://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Goal_Setting_Worksheet.pdf